Monday, 25 December 2006
B16. 鐘嗚梵谷墓 Bell Tolls Over Van Gogh Grave
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話說在下與小兒辭別巴黎 (Paris)，直奔梵谷(Vicent Van Gogh)葬身之地歐韋休瓦兹(Auvers-sur-Oise)。
After saying goodbye to Paris, I and my child drive straight to Auvers-sur-Oise, where Vicent Van Gogh was buried.
歐韋休瓦兹 (Auvers-sur-Oise ) 位於巴黎西北十七英哩， 是瓦勒德瓦茲省（Val-d'Oise）其中一條衹有七千居民的小村。瓦勒德瓦茲的法文原義是「瓦兹河谷」，歐韋休瓦兹則是「瓦兹河畔的歐韋村」，均以流經此地的瓦兹河 ( Oise ) 得名。英國也不乏「泰晤士河谷 」( Thames Valley ) 和「泰晤士河畔京士頓」 ( Kingston-upon-Thames ) 之類，以河得名的地點。瓦兹河原是塞納河(Seine)的一條支流，在比利時(Belgium)發源之後流入法國 (France)境內，在巴黎西北十五英哩處與塞納河會合。歐韋村之所以能由一寂寂無名之地，一躍而成萬方朝聖之所，當然是全拜梵谷所賜。這個曠古爍今的大畫家在此渡過他生命中最後的三個月之後，舉槍自戕，屍埋黃塚。
Auvers-sur-Oise, seventeen miles northwest of Paris, is one of the small villages of 7,000 inhabitants in the Val-d'Oise Department. The French original meaning of Val d'Oise is "Valley of the Oise", and Auvers-Oise is "Auvers-sur-Oise", both named after the Auvers-sur-Oise, seventeen miles northwest of Paris. There are also places in the UK that are named after rivers, such as "Thames Valley" and "Kingston-upon-Thames". The reason why the village of Oise can go from a place of no name to a place of pilgrimage in all directions is of course all thanks to Van Gogh. After spending the last three months of his life here, this great painter committed suicide with a gun and was buried in a yellow mound.
看官讀到此處，大概打一個呵欠，正想掩卷罷閱。世上各行各業均有能人異士，繪畫美術亦歷代大師輩出，何以獨對梵谷一人大驚小怪，小題大造？而且藝術這勞什子，就算是玄而又玄，高深莫測，亦屬陽春白雪，曲高和寡，恐怕于我無涉，閣下要朝聖請不妨自便，豈堪我費神一讀？
When the reader read this, he probably yawned and was about to close the column and stop reading. There are talented people in all walks of life in the world, and there are many masters of painting and art in all ages. Moreover, art is a laborious child. It is mysterious, profound an unfathomable. I am afraid that I have nothing to do with it. If you want to make a pilgrimage, please feel free to do it yourself.
看官且慢！本欄賣文以市場導向為本，取悅顧客為主，決不敢莽彈藝術這高調，更無意吹噓梵谷的神話，不才僅想藉一齣老掉了牙的人間悲劇，古今不斷重演的一訣苦海浮沉，與看官一同遙祭一個性格獨特，天賦異稟，但卻懷才不遇，末路窮途，終至厭世自殺的一個倒霉老外。看官亦切莫以此事過於老套而不屑一顧，請不妨自忖，曾否於夜闌人靜之夕，午夜夢迴之際，惘然四顧，若有所失，自覺一生江湖打拼，紅塵混跡，卻始終窩囊不達，蹇促未就，頗有志不伸之憾，抱負未展之嘆？若閣下不幸亦身罹此恨，則何妨讓在下以這支生花妙筆，把看官這股悲情推己及人，大而化之，使你不但對梵谷一己之事，情如切膚，感同身受，更與普世懷才不遇之士同聲一哭，千古同嘆，萬念同悲。
看官且慢！本欄賣文以市場導向為本，取悅顧客為主，決不敢莽彈藝術這高調，更無意吹噓梵谷的神話，不才僅想藉一齣老掉了牙的人間悲劇，古今不斷重演的一訣苦海浮沉，與看官一同遙祭一個性格獨特，天賦異稟，但卻懷才不遇，末路窮途，終至厭世自殺的一個倒霉老外。看官亦切莫以此事過於老套而不屑一顧，請不妨自忖，曾否於夜闌人靜之夕，午夜夢迴之際，惘然四顧，若有所失，自覺一生江湖打拼，紅塵混跡，卻始終窩囊不達，蹇促未就，頗有志不伸之憾，抱負未展之嘆？若閣下不幸亦身罹此恨，則何妨讓在下以這支生花妙筆，把看官這股悲情推己及人，大而化之，使你不但對梵谷一己之事，情如切膚，感同身受，更與普世懷才不遇之士同聲一哭，千古同嘆，萬念同悲。
Wait a minute! The articles in this column are market-oriented and mainly to please customers. They never dare to play the high profile Art-of-Art, and have no intention to brag about the myth of Van Gogh. I only want to take this tragedy, and together with the readers, to commemorate a unique personality and talent, but is underappreciated painter. The readers should not dismiss it as too old-fashioned. Please think, have you ever looked around on a quiet night, when you returned from a dream in the middle of the night ? The sigh of unfulfilled ambitions, and the regret of unfulfilled ambitions? If you are unfortunate enough to suffer from this kind of hatred, why don't you let me use this wonderful pen to spread the grief of the readers, so that you can not only feel the love and empathy for Van Gogh's own affairs, but also weeping in unison with those who have never show their talents in the world, sighing together through the ages, and griefing together in all thoughts.
其實梵谷並非僅屬象牙塔內、白玉樓中恭奉的一個靈位，藝術家、繪畫師膜拜的一個神衹。生前雖然寂寂無名，但死後卻家傳戶曉，他的幽靈早己從雲端步下凡塵，走入後現代的商業社會，與科學家愛因斯坦，探險家哥倫布等人一樣，成為一個文化象徵，世俗英雄。即使看官不諳藝術，無心繪事，但想必亦曾聽聞世上有一幅價值連城，名喚 「向日葵」的天價名畫，聽過一首膾炙人口，叫做「 Vincent 」的英語流行曲。前者是梵谷的登峰造極的名作，後者是歌詠他的千古絕唱，可見他的鼎鼎大名，經已家傳戶曉，深入民心，廣為世人認知。
In fact, Van Gogh is not only a spiritual place worshipped in the ivory tower and the white jade tower, but also a god worshipped by artists and painters. Although he was unknown during his lifetime, he was known to everyone after his death. His ghost had already stepped down from the clouds and entered the post-modern business society. Like the scientist Einstein, the explorer Columbus and others, he has become a cultural symbol, a secular hero. Even if the readers are not familiar with art and has no interest in painting, he must have heard of a priceless painting called "Sunflower" in the world, and heard a popular English pop song called "Vincent". The former is Van Gogh's masterpiece, and the latter is a masterpiece that sings about him through the ages. It can be seen that his famous name has been known to every household, deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and widely recognized by the world.
先談天價。
先談天價。
Let's talk price first.
在後現代經濟市場消費社會，任何事物的價值，都無一不以金錢衡量，正如香江一眾陪老細，釣金龜諸女星們的口頭禪：「人人身上都有個價」，梵谷當然亦不能例外。他最為世人津津樂道，咄咄稱奇之處，正在於他超乎情理，難以置信的天價名畫。上述的「向日葵」(Sunflower)，其實梵谷一共畫了多個不同版本，倫敦的國家畫廊 (National Gallery,London)，慕尼克的新美術館 (Neue Museum, Munich)，和東京的日本損保東鄉青兒美術館(Seiji Togo Memorial Sompo Japan Museum of Art, Tokyo)，都各據珍藏。不過，這些畫都是該館該國的鎮山之寶，絕不出售，基本上是奇貨可居，無價無市，要購買梵谷的畫，衹能求諸於國際私人藝術品市場。
在後現代經濟市場消費社會，任何事物的價值，都無一不以金錢衡量，正如香江一眾陪老細，釣金龜諸女星們的口頭禪：「人人身上都有個價」，梵谷當然亦不能例外。他最為世人津津樂道，咄咄稱奇之處，正在於他超乎情理，難以置信的天價名畫。上述的「向日葵」(Sunflower)，其實梵谷一共畫了多個不同版本，倫敦的國家畫廊 (National Gallery,London)，慕尼克的新美術館 (Neue Museum, Munich)，和東京的日本損保東鄉青兒美術館(Seiji Togo Memorial Sompo Japan Museum of Art, Tokyo)，都各據珍藏。不過，這些畫都是該館該國的鎮山之寶，絕不出售，基本上是奇貨可居，無價無市，要購買梵谷的畫，衹能求諸於國際私人藝術品市場。
In the post-modern economic market consumer society, the value of everything is measured by money, just like the mantra of the female stars who accompany the old and the young in Hong Kong : "Everyone has a price". Van Gogh is no exception. He is most talked about by the world, and what makes him amazing is his unreasonable and unbelievable high-priced famous paintings the "Sunflower". In fact, Van Gogh painted a total of different versions, the National Gallery in London, the Neue Museum in Munich, and Seiji Togo Memorial Sompo Japan Museum of Art in Tokyo. However, these paintings are the treasures of the country in the museum, and they will never be sold. They are basically rare goods that are priceless and have no market. To buy Van Gogh paintings, you can only turn to the international private art market.
一九八七年，紐約的蘇富比公司拍賣梵谷名畫「鳶尾花」(Iris)，以五千三百五十萬美元成交，在當年十大天價名畫排行榜中，名列第八。一九九八年，紐約的姬絲蒂公司拍賣的梵谷「自畫像」(Self Portrait)，更以七千一百五十萬美元成交，在當年十大天價名畫排行榜中，名列第二。上述皆梵谷的極品，至於他的平庸之作，中下之選，也無一不以數十至數百萬美元成交。總之凡屬梵谷出品，必定洛陽紙貴，價值連城。In 1987, Sotheby's in New York auctioned Van Gogh's famous painting "Iris" for $53.5 million, ranking number eight of the year. In 1998, Van Gogh's "Self Portrait" sold for $71.5 million at Christie's in New York, making it one of the top ten most expensive paintings of the year. All of the above are Van Gogh's best works. As for his mediocre works, the middle and lower ones are all sold for tens to millions of dollars. In short, all paintings produced by Van Gogh must be expensive and invaluable.
諷刺的是，梵谷的畫作在生前無人欣賞，乏人問津，畢生衹賣出過一幅油畫，索價僅十數法郎。遺憾的是，他厭世自戕後被弟弟迪奥分贈親朋的大量遺作，遭唾棄鄙視，任由湮沒消亡者有之，廢物利用，割下來縫製帆布鞋者有之，總之大部份經已灰飛煙滅，散佚不存。倘若這群人能目睹今時今日，此情此景，定必搥胸頓足，噬臍扯髮，懊悔莫及不已。
再談絕唱。
Let's talk about song again
一九七一年末，美國的創作民歌手唐麥連(Don McLean)譜了一訣歌，名喚「文生」(Vicent)，向梵谷憑曲寄意。此曲一出便大受歡迎，翌年躍登英國流行榜冠軍。往後多年，荷蘭阿姆斯特丹的梵谷美術商館，每天都於展館內反覆播放此曲。歌曰：
At the end of 1971, the American folk singer Don McLean composed a song called "Vicent", expressing his feeling to Van Gogh. The song was very popular when it came out, and it jumped to the top of the UK pop chart the following year. For many years to come, the Van Gogh Art Museum in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, played the song repeatedly in the exhibition hall every day. The song says:
Vincent Van Gogh - Songs and Lyrics Don McLean, Chinese translation C K Wong
出至一個繆斯的筆下,
一篇比原詞更真,更善,更美的譯文！
From the pen of a Muse, The Truth, Goodness and Beauty, of the original lyrics are transcended in the Chinese translation !
在一片星空之下
Starry, starry night
你在畫版上塗滿藍與灰
Paint your palette blue and grey
以看透我靈魂深處的一雙眼遙看夏日
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
描繪著草木和水仙
與及山間的光影
Depicts grass and daffodils and the light and shadow in the mountains
在錦繡的雪影裏
捕捉了寒流與薰風
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
現在我開始瞭解
究竟你欲訢何言
Now I understand What you tried to say to me
你如何因天才受苦
你又如何釋放它們
And how you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free
他們不聽，他們不懂
They would not listen, they did not know how
但是現在他們可能會聽了
Perhaps they'll listen now
在一片星空之下
Starry, starry night
紅花大放異彩
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
紫霧風捲雲湧
Swirling clouds in violet haze
皆盡入梵谷湛藍眼底
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
色彩變幻無定
Colors changing hue
晨曦穀粒金黃
Morning fields of amber grain
愁顏風霜滿面
Weathered faces lined in pain
皆盡得畫筆愛的撫慰
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand
現在我開始瞭解
Now I understand
究竟你欲訢何言
What you tried to say to me
你如何因天才受苦
And how you suffered for your sanity
你又如何釋放它們
And how you tried to set them free
他們不聽
They would not listen
他們不懂
They did not know how
但是現在他們可能會聽了
Perhaps they'll listen now
縱使他們並不愛你
For they could not love you
你的真愛依然
But still your love was true
但當一切希望已逝
And when no hope was left in sight
在這一片星空之下
On that starry, starry night
你像怨侶一般殉情
You took your life, as lovers often do
但梵谷我可以告訴你
But I could have told you, Vincent
這個世界並非是為你
這般美麗的人而設的
This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you
在一片星空之下
On that starry, starry night
空洞的畫廊中掛著自畫像
Portraits hung in empty halls
無力的頭靠著無名的牆
Frameless heads on nameless walls
以一雙難忘的眼睛凝視著世界
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
像你偶遇的那位陌生人
Like the strangers that you've met
衣衫殘破兼且窮途末路
The ragged men in the ragged clothes
猶如一朵帶著銀芒的血色薔薇
The silver thorn, a bloody rose
被踏碎於一片皎潔的新雪之上
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
現在我開始瞭解
Now I think I know
究竟你欲訢何言
What you tried to say to me
你如何因天才受苦
And how you suffered for your sanity
你又如何釋放它們
And how you tried to set them free
他們不聽
They would not listen
他們仍不聽
They're not listening still
可能他們永遠也不會聽.....
Perhaps they never will .....
在一片星空之下
On that starry, starry night
你在畫版上塗滿藍與灰
You paint all blue and gray on the canvas
以看透我靈魂深處的一雙眼
With a pair of eyes that see the depths of my soul
描繪著草木和水仙
描繪著草木和水仙
Depicts grass and daffodils
與及山間的光影
In the light and shadow in the mountains
在錦繡的雪影裏
In the splendid snow shadow
捕捉了寒流與薰風
Captured the cold snap and the wind
現在我開始瞭解
Now, I think I know
究竟你欲訢何言
What you tried to say to me
你如何因天才受苦
How you suffered for your sanity
你又如何釋放它們
How you tried to set them free
他們不聽
They would not listen
他們不懂
They do not understand
但是現在他們可能會聽了
Perhaps they'll listen now
可能他們永遠也不會聽了
Perhaps they never will
各位看官！就在我翻譯著這首曲詞的時候，淚水正不斷地流下我的雙頰，你可會鐵石心腸，無動於衷嗎？上世紀七十年代，香港無線電視翡翠臺，經常在節目前後加插一些歌曲錄像，填補空檔。上述這首「文生」便榮列其中，其餘還有唐麥連的另一名作「美國批」，比知樂隊古服泛舟的「莫忘記」，和短命歌手尊怒的「有一天」。這些歌曲錄像都是我們這個世代香港人的集體回憶，比起中環海濱的天星鐘樓和皇后碼頭，更堪回味。
All readers! While I was translating the lyrics of this song, tears were streaming down my cheeks, can you be hard-hearted and indifferent? In the 1970s, Hong Kong TVB Jade Channel often added some songs and videos before and after the program to fill the gap. The above-mentioned "Vincent" is listed, and the rest include another famous song by Don McLean "American Pie", "Don't Forget" by Bee Gees ancient costume boating, and "One Day" by short-lived singer John Row. These songs and videos are collective memories of our generation in Hong Kong, and they are more memorable than the Star Clock Tower and Queen's Wharf on the Central Waterfront.
說了半天，究竟此梵谷是何許人也？原來他的小名正是文生，一八五三年生於荷蘭，年輕時幹過畫商、教師和傳道等多種行業，二十七歲習畫於比利時布魯塞爾的皇家美術學院後，從此便專注繪事。雖然他每天作畫不絀，產量極豐，但由於作品無人問津，賺不到分文收入，終生依賴比他小四歲的弟弟迪奧滙款接濟。三十三歲時移居法國尋藝，三年後精神病發，多次入院治療，次年自戕於歐韋村，終年三十七歲。
After all, who is Van Gogh? It turned out that his nickname was Vincent. He was born in the Netherlands in 1853. When he was young, he worked in various industries such as art dealers, teachers and preachers. After studying painting at the Royal Academy of Fine Arts in Brussels, Belgium at the age of 27, he has been focusing on painting since then. Although he paints every day, and the output is extremely abundant, but because no one cares about his works, he can't earn a penny. At the age of thirty-three, he moved to France to seek art. Three years later, he developed a mental illness and was hospitalized for many times. The following year, he committed suicide in the village of Oise, at the age of thirty-seven.
梵谷性情孤僻，言辭拙劣，既交不到男性朋友，亦無女性垂青，終生以妓女為傾訴對象。二十九歲時，他甚至不顧老父反對，與一名有兩個野子，名喚詩安的妓女相宿相棲。三十五歲時，他與畫家高更論畫意見相左，爭執之間，狂性大發，持剃刀襲擊對方不遂之後，揮刀割下自己的左耳，用報紙包好，送給他經常光顧，名喚雷切爾的一名妓女留念，囑附她好好保存。
梵谷性情孤僻，言辭拙劣，既交不到男性朋友，亦無女性垂青，終生以妓女為傾訴對象。二十九歲時，他甚至不顧老父反對，與一名有兩個野子，名喚詩安的妓女相宿相棲。三十五歲時，他與畫家高更論畫意見相左，爭執之間，狂性大發，持剃刀襲擊對方不遂之後，揮刀割下自己的左耳，用報紙包好，送給他經常光顧，名喚雷切爾的一名妓女留念，囑附她好好保存。
Van Gogh had a withdrawn temperament and clumsy speech. He could not make male friends, nor did he admire women. He used prostitutes as the object of his life. At the age of twenty-nine, despite his father's objection, he lived with a prostitute named Sien Hoornik who had two wild sons. At the age of thirty-five, he had a disagreement with the painter Gauguin on painting. During the dispute, he became mad. After attacking the other party with a razor, he cut off his left ear with a knife, wrapped it in newspaper, and gave it to a prostitute named Rachel as a souvenir and asked her to keep it well.
東西雙方除了文化有異，感情的表現方式也迥然不同。我國宋朝詞人秦觀青樓賦詞，攜妓唱籌的風流韻事，傳頌千古。江南名妓獲風流才子贈詞寄意，衹會芳心暗喜，受寵若驚，但紅毛畫家割耳贈妓，則聳人聽聞，驚世駭俗，紅顏知己啟包而視，想必毛骨悚然，驚駭至尖叫昏到。梵谷作了驚人之舉後，還畫了多幅耳上包裹著紗布的自畫像，其中一幅還若無其事，怡然自得的抽著煙斗。不過，總算從來沒有畫過無耳的自畫像示人，雖自殘而尚未至於自虐。
東西雙方除了文化有異，感情的表現方式也迥然不同。我國宋朝詞人秦觀青樓賦詞，攜妓唱籌的風流韻事，傳頌千古。江南名妓獲風流才子贈詞寄意，衹會芳心暗喜，受寵若驚，但紅毛畫家割耳贈妓，則聳人聽聞，驚世駭俗，紅顏知己啟包而視，想必毛骨悚然，驚駭至尖叫昏到。梵谷作了驚人之舉後，還畫了多幅耳上包裹著紗布的自畫像，其中一幅還若無其事，怡然自得的抽著煙斗。不過，總算從來沒有畫過無耳的自畫像示人，雖自殘而尚未至於自虐。
In addition to cultural differences between the East and the West, the expressions of feelings are also very different. Qin Guan, a poet of the Song Dynasty, composes lyrics and sings the love affair with prostitutes, which has been passed down through the ages. When a famous prostitute in the south of the Yangtze River receives a gift from a romantic genius, she will only be delighted and flattered, but the red-haired painter cuts off his ear and presents it to a prostitute, which is sensational and shocking. After Van Gogh's astonishing move, he also painted several self-portraits with gauze wrapped around his ears. One of which was as if nothing had happened, smoking a pipe comfortably. However, in the end, He had never painted a self-portrait without ears to show people.
其實，古今中外的藝術家，都無一不尋求妓女的慰藉。藝術家莫不以幻想為專業，女性則普遍以物質為根本，素質上背道而馳，格格不入。藝術家追求女性，處處碰壁，屢戰屢敗之餘，唯有退而求其次，取易不取難，改投妓女懷抱。妓女雖然也並不了解藝術家，但她們服務專業，顧客至上，有求必應，至少不會像一般女性一樣，拒人於千里之外。藝術家在妓女的懷抱中，遂略得片刻虛情假意的溫柔，短暫自欺欺人的慰籍，在追求藝術的孤單道路上，稍得支援。
In fact, artists from ancient and modern times at home and abroad all seek the solace of prostitutes. Artists are all specialized in fantasy, while women are generally based on material things, and their quality is contrary and out of tune. The artist pursues women, but encounters obstacles everywhere, and after repeated battles and repeated defeats, he can only take the next step, choose the easy rather than the hard, and switch to the embrace of prostitutes. Although prostitutes do not know artists, they are professional, customer-oriented, and responsive to requests. In the embrace of prostitutes, the artists can have a moment of hypocritical tenderness, a brief consolation of self-deception, and a little support on the lonely road of pursuing art.
女看官們看至此處，大抵情緒激動，群情洶湧，紛紛指控在下性別岐視，詆毀女性。女看官們請稍安無燥，在下並非對女性心存偏見，而是有感而發，有據而言，閣下在耐心聆聽在下細說從頭之後，必能頷首會意。
女看官們看至此處，大抵情緒激動，群情洶湧，紛紛指控在下性別岐視，詆毀女性。女看官們請稍安無燥，在下並非對女性心存偏見，而是有感而發，有據而言，閣下在耐心聆聽在下細說從頭之後，必能頷首會意。
When the female readers saw this, they were mostly emotional and turbulent, and they all accused the subordinates of gender discrimination and defaming women. Female readers, please be calm and calm. I am not biased against women, but I have feelings. According to the evidence, after you listen patiently and talk about it in detail, you will be able to nod and understand.
其實弱水三千，衹飲一瓢，百步之內，豈無芳草？ 天下確有不少女性仰慕藝術家的氣質和才華。惜乎她們都止於欣賞藝術家的外表，無法接受藝術家的本質，雖有愛慕之心，但單薄得像氣球一樣，一戳即破，經不起考驗。在下年輕時也愛作藝術家打扮，不但長髮長鬚，衣衫襤褸，還足登一對露趾的破鞋，飛揚跋扈，招搖過市。某夜，在下於尖沙嘴一小酒吧內邂逅一位佳人，雖然年近三十，略見發福，但依然美豔絕倫，顧盼生姿。在下一見之下如飲醇醪，藉故搭訕，她也輕顰淺笑，應對大方，雙方遂一見如故，促膝談心。
其實弱水三千，衹飲一瓢，百步之內，豈無芳草？ 天下確有不少女性仰慕藝術家的氣質和才華。惜乎她們都止於欣賞藝術家的外表，無法接受藝術家的本質，雖有愛慕之心，但單薄得像氣球一樣，一戳即破，經不起考驗。在下年輕時也愛作藝術家打扮，不但長髮長鬚，衣衫襤褸，還足登一對露趾的破鞋，飛揚跋扈，招搖過市。某夜，在下於尖沙嘴一小酒吧內邂逅一位佳人，雖然年近三十，略見發福，但依然美豔絕倫，顧盼生姿。在下一見之下如飲醇醪，藉故搭訕，她也輕顰淺笑，應對大方，雙方遂一見如故，促膝談心。In fact, the lake is three thousand miles, I just need a scoop, and within a hundred paces, is there no fragrant grass? There are indeed many women in the world who admire the temperament and talent of artists. It is a pity that they all stop at appreciating the appearance of the artist, and cannot accept the essence of the artist. Although they have a heart of admiration, they are as thin as a balloon, bursting when they are poked, and cannot stand the test. When I was young, I also liked to dress up as an artist. Not only did I have long hair, long beards, and ragged clothes, but I also wore a pair of ragged shoes with open toes. One night, I met a beautiful woman in a small bar in Tsim Sha Tsui. Although she was in her late thirties, she was slightly blessed, but she was still gorgeous and looking pretty in her appearance. At our meeting, I was like drinking alcohol and talking to each other for an excuse. She also smiled lightly and responded generously.
相方交淺言深，不覺夜闌星寂，酒吧漸次除燈打烊。正當歌停舞罷，曲終人散之際，佳人依依不捨，臨別秋波，倚前輕啟朱唇，意有所指的，低聲向在下增添一言：「天下魯男子皆一無可取，妾身平生最仰慕心儀的，是性情不羈，氣質獨特的藝術家」。在下聞絃歌而知雅意，難掩心中驚喜，馬上索取伊人通訊電話，雙方互道珍重，後會有期。
Although the beauty is dressed as a woman of the era, she has a classical beauty temperament. Not only does her beautiful face look like an autumn moon, her teeth are as bright as a shell, she also has a pair of phoenix eyes, two curved willow-leaf eyebrows, and the star eyes turn slightly, make me swayed, and the colour capture my soul. During our conversation, she laughed and said that her admirers were as many as the fishes in the river. She recalled the embarrassed situation of a driver on the road one day, because he turned his head to look at her beauty and lost control of the car, and hit the car in front of him. I listened with gusto and enthusiasm, and believed that her words were sincere and true to every word, because of her beauty, everything was taken for granted, not unexpected, the beautiful woman did not need to boast at all.
在下當晚匆匆回家，一夜輾轉反側沒有睡好，下床啟燈攬鏡自照，但覺鏡中人其貌不揚，猥瑣不堪，無一處配得上佳人，復歸床高卧，前思後想，左右思量，覺得實在不敢奢求天長地久，衹望能一親芳澤，須死無悔，於願已足，再無其餘非份之想，次天一早便致電佳人，相約下午泡咖啡館，亟謀速戰速決，功成身退。
在下當晚匆匆回家，一夜輾轉反側沒有睡好，下床啟燈攬鏡自照，但覺鏡中人其貌不揚，猥瑣不堪，無一處配得上佳人，復歸床高卧，前思後想，左右思量，覺得實在不敢奢求天長地久，衹望能一親芳澤，須死無悔，於願已足，再無其餘非份之想，次天一早便致電佳人，相約下午泡咖啡館，亟謀速戰速決，功成身退。
I hurried home that night, tossed and turned and didn’t sleep. Got out of bed turned on the light and took a look in the mirror. My image was unremarkable, wretched, and nowhere was worthy of a beautiful woman. I feel that I really don’t dare to hope for a life time, I only hope to be able to kiss her lips. I have to die without regrets. I have fulfilled my wishes, and have no other unreasonable thoughts. Quick decision, success and retreat.
是日天星碼頭五枝旗桿下聚首之後，我二話不說，一把便握著她那肌膚賽雪，柔若無骨的小手，拖看她緩緩走向咖啡館，她亦柔情似水，小鳥依人般輕倚著我肩膀，依偎而行。佳人這樣的反應實在令我喜出望外，受寵若驚，在如心甜如蜜，意亂情迷之際，做了一件至今仍懊悔莫及，終生抱憾的失策之事。在下其實應該帶佳人到鄰近香港酒店那間極富浪漫色彩，異國情調的意式咖啡館裏，培養大家剛建立的感情。但千不該，萬不該，在下千差萬錯的帶她走進那間，在海運大廈行人走廊裏採開放式設計，膠檯膠櫈，簡陋得像廉價快餐店的巴西咖啡座。
It was after the gathering under the five-branch flagpole at the Star Ferry Pier. Without saying a word, I held her snowy, boneless little hand and dragged her slowly towards the cafe. She leaned on my shoulder like a little bird, and walked snuggly. I was really overjoyed and flattered by the beautiful woman's response. At a time when my heart was sweet as honey and my emotions were chaotic, I made a misstep that I still regret for the rest of my life. In fact, I should take the beautiful lady to the very romantic and exotic Italian cafe adjacent to the Hong Kong Hotel to cultivate the newly established relationship. But I shouldn't took her into the cafe in The Ocean Terminal by mistake. It was an open-plan design with plastic stools in the pedestrian corridor of Ocean Terminal. It was as simple as the cafe seats in a cheap fast food restaurant.
It was after the gathering under the five-branch flagpole at the Star Ferry Pier. Without saying a word, I held her snowy, boneless little hand and dragged her slowly towards the cafe. She leaned on my shoulder like a little bird, and walked snuggly. I was really overjoyed and flattered by the beautiful woman's response. At a time when my heart was sweet as honey and my emotions were chaotic, I made a misstep that I still regret for the rest of my life. In fact, I should take the beautiful lady to the very romantic and exotic Italian cafe adjacent to the Hong Kong Hotel to cultivate the newly established relationship. But I shouldn't took her into the cafe in The Ocean Terminal by mistake. It was an open-plan design with plastic stools in the pedestrian corridor of Ocean Terminal. It was as simple as the cafe seats in a cheap fast food restaurant.
致命的其實非關陳設，而在於此處為在下平日或呼朋引類，或靜坐思索的蹲點地盤。衹要我在這裏一坐下，便迅即進入思想家的狀態，回復藝術家的本色，或迷思冥想，或遊神造夢，怡然自得，樂在其中。由於經多年光顧養成了的自然習慣，我當日不假思索，便不期然的走進這個咖啡座，遂鑄成今天噬臍莫及，悔不當初的大錯。
The deadly thing is not about the furnishings, but the fact that this place is a place to stay on weekdays, or to invite friends, or to sit and think. As long as I sit here, I will immediately enter the state of a thinker, return to the true nature of an artist, or contemplate, or wander and dream, and I will be at ease and enjoy it. Due to the natural habit that I have developed after many years of patronage, I walked into this cafe without thinking about it that day, and I am so devastated that I cannot regret the big mistake I made.
The deadly thing is not about the furnishings, but the fact that this place is a place to stay on weekdays, or to invite friends, or to sit and think. As long as I sit here, I will immediately enter the state of a thinker, return to the true nature of an artist, or contemplate, or wander and dream, and I will be at ease and enjoy it. Due to the natural habit that I have developed after many years of patronage, I walked into this cafe without thinking about it that day, and I am so devastated that I cannot regret the big mistake I made.
果然大家坐下點了咖啡不久，便馬上出事了。
Sure enough, not long after we sat down and ordered coffee, something went wrong.
事緣我於遊目四顧之際，忽然靈光一閃，一個絕佳的意念閃入腦海，我便一把抓住，反覆細細思量，緩緩推敲，直到整個構思完滿達致，大功告成之後，我才莞爾而笑，躊躇滿志的抬頭悠然望向佳人。這時我才發覺佳人經已毫無美態，面目全非，正柳眉倒豎，鳳眼圓睜，怒容滿面的瞪著我。我大吃一驚，正不知何是好之際，她霍然而起，勃然而怒，指著我大發驕嗔說：「我和你坐在這裏整整一個小時，你却始終一言不發，沒有和我說過半句話。本小姐從未受過如此待慢，這般屈辱，我以後永遠也不想再見到你」。言畢悻悻然拂袖而去，衹剩下我一人魂飛魄散，目定口呆，枯坐了半天也未能弄清楚究竟所犯何罪？
When I was looking around, I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and an excellent idea flashed into my mind. I grabbed it, pondered it over and over, and slowly scrutinized it, until the whole idea was fully achieved, and I was done. Only then did I smile. mugly raised my head and looked at the beauty lady. Only then did I realize that the beautiful woman was no longer beautiful, her face was beyond recognition, her eyebrows were standing upright, her phoenix eyes were wide open, and she glared at me with an angry face. I was shocked, just when I didn't know what to do, she suddenly got up, got angry, pointed at me and said, "I sat here with you for a whole hour, but you still didn't say a word, didn't talk to me. I had never been so humiliated, and I will never want to see you again in the future." After she finished speaking, she walked away angrily, and I was the only one left in a daze, sitting in a daze for a long time, unable to figure out what the crime I did ?
事緣我於遊目四顧之際，忽然靈光一閃，一個絕佳的意念閃入腦海，我便一把抓住，反覆細細思量，緩緩推敲，直到整個構思完滿達致，大功告成之後，我才莞爾而笑，躊躇滿志的抬頭悠然望向佳人。這時我才發覺佳人經已毫無美態，面目全非，正柳眉倒豎，鳳眼圓睜，怒容滿面的瞪著我。我大吃一驚，正不知何是好之際，她霍然而起，勃然而怒，指著我大發驕嗔說：「我和你坐在這裏整整一個小時，你却始終一言不發，沒有和我說過半句話。本小姐從未受過如此待慢，這般屈辱，我以後永遠也不想再見到你」。言畢悻悻然拂袖而去，衹剩下我一人魂飛魄散，目定口呆，枯坐了半天也未能弄清楚究竟所犯何罪？
When I was looking around, I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and an excellent idea flashed into my mind. I grabbed it, pondered it over and over, and slowly scrutinized it, until the whole idea was fully achieved, and I was done. Only then did I smile. mugly raised my head and looked at the beauty lady. Only then did I realize that the beautiful woman was no longer beautiful, her face was beyond recognition, her eyebrows were standing upright, her phoenix eyes were wide open, and she glared at me with an angry face. I was shocked, just when I didn't know what to do, she suddenly got up, got angry, pointed at me and said, "I sat here with you for a whole hour, but you still didn't say a word, didn't talk to me. I had never been so humiliated, and I will never want to see you again in the future." After she finished speaking, she walked away angrily, and I was the only one left in a daze, sitting in a daze for a long time, unable to figure out what the crime I did ?
對一位朝夕受到裙下之臣爭相獻媚，極力討好的絕代佳人而言，遭受到不識抬舉，未解溫柔的在下如此冷待，無疑是不堪忍受，無法容忍。可是佳人既然聲稱仰慕一位慣於我行我素，獨立特行的藝術家，又如何能期望他能像裙下眾臣一樣，奴顏婢膝，克意奉盛自己呢？事實上由於本性使然，藝術家比常人，更須要對方在生活中的各種包容和忍讓。然而，平日受慣萬般奉盛的她，又豈能反過來遷就我呢？所以佳人之所謂愛慕藝術家者，僅止外表，未達本質。藝術家看似風流倜儻，閒雲野鶴，逍遙似浪蝶，實則千錘百鍊，鐵柱磨穿，勤奮像工蜂。佳人不知原委，見其表不知其裏，以為與在下萍水相逢，緣牽一線，其實衹是美麗的誤會一場，比在下的失落應有過之而無不及。
For a peerless beauty who has been flattered and flattered by the courtiers under her skirt day and night, it is undoubtedly unbearable and intolerable to be treated so coldly by me. However, since the beauty claims to admire an artist who is accustomed to his own way and is independent and special, how can she expect him to be like all the courtiers subservient to there knees ? In fact, due to their nature, artists need more tolerance from each other in life than ordinary people. However, how can she, who is used to being in all kinds of favours, be able to accommodate me in turn ? Therefore, the so-called admiration of an artist by a beautiful woman is limited to the appearance, not the essence. The artist seems to be romantic and suave, free from clouds and wild cranes, carefree like a wave of butterflies, but in reality, he has been tempered a thousand times, worn through iron pillars, and diligent like a worker bee. The beautiful woman doesn't know the truth, sees the appearance and doesn't know the inside, and the fate will be a thread. In fact, it is just a beautiful misunderstanding.
這邊廂，藝術家對佳人也是誤會重重。他們往往把自己朝夕渴求的完美對像，投射到對方的身上，把原是血肉之軀的佳人，一廂情願地，提升至不食人間煙火的仙姝。曹植之賦洛神，但丁之遇貝雅特麗齊，俱屬藝術家典型行徑，古今可見，中外皆然。
On the other side, the artist is also misunderstood about the beauty. They often project the perfect image that they yearn for day and night onto each other's body, elevating the beauty who was originally flesh and blood to a fairy who does not take the fireworks of the world. Cao Zhi's blessing of Nótt, and Dante's encounter with Beatrice are all typical acts of the artist, which can be seen in ancient and modern times, both in China and Abroad.
這邊廂，藝術家對佳人也是誤會重重。他們往往把自己朝夕渴求的完美對像，投射到對方的身上，把原是血肉之軀的佳人，一廂情願地，提升至不食人間煙火的仙姝。曹植之賦洛神，但丁之遇貝雅特麗齊，俱屬藝術家典型行徑，古今可見，中外皆然。
On the other side, the artist is also misunderstood about the beauty. They often project the perfect image that they yearn for day and night onto each other's body, elevating the beauty who was originally flesh and blood to a fairy who does not take the fireworks of the world. Cao Zhi's blessing of Nótt, and Dante's encounter with Beatrice are all typical acts of the artist, which can be seen in ancient and modern times, both in China and Abroad.
在下曾經凝視巴黎奧塞博(Musee d'Orsay, Paris)物館內安格爾的名畫「泉」（The Source, Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres）良久，如痴如醉之餘，覺得畫中人簡直子虛烏有，天堂中究竟有沒有，我不敢肯定，但相信世間上從來沒有。巴黎近郊尚蒂伊城堡的孔德博物館 (Musée Condé, Chantilly) 內，亦珍藏著安格爾另一幅題材類同，但名氣稍遜的傑作「維納斯」(Venis, Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres)。我也同樣在看得難捨難離之餘，有著相同的反思。安格爾真不愧是古今中外，最病入膏肓，無可救藥的女性崇拜者。但假如讓他認真的反省一下，相信他也會對自己以假作真，付諸一笑。
I once stared at Ingres' famous painting "The Source, Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres" in the Musee d'Orsay, Paris for a long time. I am not sure if there is any in heaven, but I believe that there is never one in the world. In the Musée Condé, Chantilly, in the suburbs of Paris, there is also another masterpiece of Ingres with a similar theme, but less famous "Venis". I also have the same reflection while watching it. Angel really deserves to be the most ill and incurable female admirer in ancient and modern china and abroad. But if you let him seriously reflect on it, I believe that he will also pretend to be true to himself and put it into a smile.
當滿腦美麗幻想的藝術家邂逅滿腔小姐脾氣的佳人，碰得焦頭額爛，一鼻子灰的時候，便迫不得已的退而求其次，轉投妓女的懷抱。秦觀病逝青樓，紅粉含淚合資殮葬，羅特列克據妓院為家，鶯燕先後整妝入畫，看官大抵經已知之甚詳，無庸在下贅言，在此不妨改談我本行的音樂家，一新閣下耳目。
當滿腦美麗幻想的藝術家邂逅滿腔小姐脾氣的佳人，碰得焦頭額爛，一鼻子灰的時候，便迫不得已的退而求其次，轉投妓女的懷抱。秦觀病逝青樓，紅粉含淚合資殮葬，羅特列克據妓院為家，鶯燕先後整妝入畫，看官大抵經已知之甚詳，無庸在下贅言，在此不妨改談我本行的音樂家，一新閣下耳目。
When an artist full of beautiful fantasies meets a beautiful woman with a temperament full of young ladies, he has no choice but to take the next step and turn to the arms of a prostitute. Qin Guan died of illness in the brothel, beauties buried him with tears in their eyes. Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec live in the home of a brothel, Prostitutes put on makeup and painting, the readers have probably already known it in detail, and there is no need to repeat it here. I might as well talk about my line of musicians.
後世醫學家檢視貝多芬(Ludwig Van Beethoven)的病歷時，發覺內有當時治療梅毒的水銀軟膏處方，推斷他極可能狎妓得病。舒伯特(Franz Schubert)患上晚期梅毒，病至牛山濯濯，頭頂全禿，則鐵証如山，不必再為尊者隱諱。
When later medical scientists examined the medical records of Ludwig Van Beethoven, they found that there was a prescription for mercury ointment for syphilis at that time, and deduced that he was very likely to get sick from a prostitute. Franz Schubert suffered from late-stage syphilis and was so ill that the crown of his head was completely bald. The evidence was so ironic that he would no longer be a taboo for His Holiness.
上述二人大概祇屬皮毛，還是終生暗戀舒曼 (Robert Schumann)之妻克拉克 ( Clara Schumann)的布拉姆斯( Johannes Brahms)最為命苦。舒曼亦師亦友，對布拉姆斯有知遇提攜之恩，其妻絕不能欺。無奈克拉克是精通彈琴作曲的絕世才女，音樂家千載難逢的紅顏知己，布拉姆斯實在難掩傾慕之情。舒曼英年早逝之後，布拉姆斯日夕探訪克拉克，出示新作，研討音樂，但是由於形勢格禁，滿腔情意長埋心底，終生未許表明心跡，衹好經常籍招妓敷衍一下自己卑賤的肉體。然而布拉姆斯高貴的靈魂始終渴求著可望而不可即的克拉克，終生都靈肉分離，自相矛盾的半死不活。
The above two are probably only fur, or Johannes Brahms, the lifelong crush on Robert Schumann wife Clara Schumann is the worst. Schumann is also a teacher and a friend, and he has the kindness of Brahms' knowledge and support, and his wife must not deceive him. Helpless Clark is a peerless talented woman who is proficient in playing the piano and composing, and a once-in-a-lifetime confidante of a musician. Brahms can't hide his admiration. After Schumann's untimely death, Brahms visited Clark day and night to produce new works and discuss music. However, due to the ban, he was full of affection but buried deep in his heart. However, Brahms' noble soul has always longed for the elusive Clark, and the soul and flesh are separated all his life, and he is paradoxically half-dead.
上述二人大概祇屬皮毛，還是終生暗戀舒曼 (Robert Schumann)之妻克拉克 ( Clara Schumann)的布拉姆斯( Johannes Brahms)最為命苦。舒曼亦師亦友，對布拉姆斯有知遇提攜之恩，其妻絕不能欺。無奈克拉克是精通彈琴作曲的絕世才女，音樂家千載難逢的紅顏知己，布拉姆斯實在難掩傾慕之情。舒曼英年早逝之後，布拉姆斯日夕探訪克拉克，出示新作，研討音樂，但是由於形勢格禁，滿腔情意長埋心底，終生未許表明心跡，衹好經常籍招妓敷衍一下自己卑賤的肉體。然而布拉姆斯高貴的靈魂始終渴求著可望而不可即的克拉克，終生都靈肉分離，自相矛盾的半死不活。
The above two are probably only fur, or Johannes Brahms, the lifelong crush on Robert Schumann wife Clara Schumann is the worst. Schumann is also a teacher and a friend, and he has the kindness of Brahms' knowledge and support, and his wife must not deceive him. Helpless Clark is a peerless talented woman who is proficient in playing the piano and composing, and a once-in-a-lifetime confidante of a musician. Brahms can't hide his admiration. After Schumann's untimely death, Brahms visited Clark day and night to produce new works and discuss music. However, due to the ban, he was full of affection but buried deep in his heart. However, Brahms' noble soul has always longed for the elusive Clark, and the soul and flesh are separated all his life, and he is paradoxically half-dead.
布拉姆斯一人其實代表著所有古今中外，身陷人格分裂困境的藝術家。他們其實自覺或不自覺之間，都堅信一種有神或無神的宗教，深覺自己的才能源於神聖的上蒼，立志藉此追求聖潔純美之境。但人情冷暖，世態炎凉，腎上腺的煎熬，睪丸酮的摧迫，在在都驅使他們前無去路，後無退道，被逼捨正道而弗由，尋求垂手可得，來者不拒的專業性服務。
Brahms actually represents all the artists in the past and present who are in the predicament of split personality. In fact, consciously or unconsciously, they all firmly believe in a religion with gods or without gods. They deeply feel that their talents originate from the divine God, and they are determined to pursue the realm of holiness and beauty. However, the warmth of human relationships, the fiery state of the world, the torment of the adrenal glands, and the pressure of testosterone, all drive them to have no way forward and no retreat afterward.
藝術家就算真箇結婚生子，都衹是無可奈何，「不如惜取眼前人」的別無它選之計，卻把心中那位永遠不能出現的夢中情人，寄托於虛無縹緲的藝術幻境之中。小兒現尚年幼，但日後步入青春期，便會重歷在下當年之苦，日夜飽受荷爾蒙的烤炙，他究竟將來如何應對，便要看上天對他的一場造化了。現在我一片苦心，不遠千里地帶他造訪這位割耳贈妓的前輩，瞻仰一下大師風釆，好為他日後作準備。
Even if the artist gets married and has a child, there is nothing he can do. "It's better to marry the woman in front of you.
Even if the artist gets married and has a child, there is nothing he can do. "It's better to marry the woman in front of you.
" is an alternative of finding aother woman. While the child is still young, but when he enters adolescence in the future. He will experience the suffering and suffer from the burning of hormones day and night. How he will deal with it in the future will depend on a good fortune that God has done to him. Now I am painstakingly taking my child to visit this painter who cut his ears and gave to prostitutes , and pay tribute to the master, so as to prepare for my child in the future.
話說在下駕著小車，與小兒沿著巴黎北面的鄉郊小路，向歐韋休瓦兹進發，沿途綠樹林蔭，不時看見農田上堆放著捲成一團一團的麥梗，與梵谷筆下所繪一模一樣，便知他眼聞筆錄，並無我欺。如此左顧右盼，不須半小時小車便抵歐韋。這條不顯眼的小村，其實僅位於車路之旁，並無特殊標飾，若非我早加留意，恐怕車子虎嘯而過了，我還懵然不知。
我與小兒走到馬路對面的山邊，遶過叢林，沿著一段上坡路走，一拐彎，眼前便出現一間似曾相識，非常面善的小教堂。這一間教堂簡樸陳舊，灰頭土臉，也沒有甚麽裝飾，除了傳統十字架型細小的聖殿之外，中間衹有一個高約二十餘米的鐘樓。但我定睛一看，不禁失聲驚呼，原來它就是梵谷名作「歐韋教堂」 ( Eglise d’Auvers ) 的真身，不敢遲疑，馬上一步一叩首的趨前膜拜。
My son and I walked to the side of the mountain across the road, went around the jungle, and walked along a section of uphill. As soon as I turned a corner, a small church with a familiar face and a very friendly face appeared in front of me. This church is simple and old, with a gray face and no decoration. Except for the traditional small cross-shaped sanctuary, there is only a bell tower about 20 meters high in the middle. But when I took a closer look, I couldn't help but exclaimed. It turned out to be the real body of Van Gogh's famous painting "Eglise d'Auvers". Without any hesitation, I immediately stepped forward and bowed my head to worship.
此貌不驚人的教堂建於山邊小路旁，三面被叢林環繞，堂前右方亦同樣樹立著梵谷此畫的一幅大型複制品。我把假畫與真身兩相參照之後，不禁喟然長歎，此梵谷真神人也！剛才「鄉公所」上淺薄的褐色但已轉化成「教堂」內深邃的藍，而且氣韻生動，神采飛揚，把一間暮氣沉沉的死屋畫成一具生氣勃勃的活物，彷彿有著跳動的脈搏和起伏的呼吸。面對此曠世名畫，在下的一枝禿筆不禁辭窮，實在無法言盡其妙，唯有藉畢加索之言，借花獻佛，才能庶幾近之：「庸才把太陽畫做一個紅點，天才卻把一個紅點畫成太陽」，此之謂也 This modest-looking church was built beside a mountainside road, surrounded by jungles on three sides, and a large replica of this painting by Van Gogh was also erected on the right in front of the church. After I compared the fake painting with the real body, I couldn't help but sigh, this Van Gogh is a real god ! Just now, the light brown color on the "Hometown Office" has been transformed into the deep blue in the "Church", and it is vivid and high-spirited. It paints a dead house in the twilight into a lively living thing, as if it has a beating pulse. and undulating breathing. Facing this famous painting, my bald pen below just poor, it is impossible to describe it. Only by borrowing Picasso's words : "A mediocre person paints the sun as a red dot, but a genius makes a red dot. The red dots are drawn as the sun."
我與小兒走到馬路對面的山邊，遶過叢林，沿著一段上坡路走，一拐彎，眼前便出現一間似曾相識，非常面善的小教堂。這一間教堂簡樸陳舊，灰頭土臉，也沒有甚麽裝飾，除了傳統十字架型細小的聖殿之外，中間衹有一個高約二十餘米的鐘樓。但我定睛一看，不禁失聲驚呼，原來它就是梵谷名作「歐韋教堂」 ( Eglise d’Auvers ) 的真身，不敢遲疑，馬上一步一叩首的趨前膜拜。
My son and I walked to the side of the mountain across the road, went around the jungle, and walked along a section of uphill. As soon as I turned a corner, a small church with a familiar face and a very friendly face appeared in front of me. This church is simple and old, with a gray face and no decoration. Except for the traditional small cross-shaped sanctuary, there is only a bell tower about 20 meters high in the middle. But when I took a closer look, I couldn't help exclaiming, it turned out to be the real body of Van Gogh's masterpiece "Eglise d'Auvers". I didn't dare to hesitate, and immediately stepped forward to worship.
但僅形而下的，將畫面上熱烈的色彩與躍動的筆觸加以客觀分析，實在不足以言其妙。要窺探梵谷的天才於萬一，具體一點的說是：「畫如其人，每點筆觸都忠實地表現著自己」，抽象一點的說便是：「藉眼前山水，畫胸中丘壑」。梵谷那裏是在繪畫？他是在展現生命的激情，神聖的榮光，他夢中流奶與蜜的迦南地，心底長明不滅的豔陽天。
But it is not enough to make an objective analysis of the warm colours and dynamic brushstrokes on the screen only in the form of a metaphor. To spy on the genius of Van Gogh, in a concrete way: "The painting is like a person, and every brushstroke faithfully expresses himself." What is a Van Gogh painting? He is showing the passion of life, the divine glory, the land of Canaan that flows with milk and honey in his dreams, and the sunny sky that never dies in his heart.
But it is not enough to make an objective analysis of the warm colours and dynamic brushstrokes on the screen only in the form of a metaphor. To spy on the genius of Van Gogh, in a concrete way: "The painting is like a person, and every brushstroke faithfully expresses himself." What is a Van Gogh painting? He is showing the passion of life, the divine glory, the land of Canaan that flows with milk and honey in his dreams, and the sunny sky that never dies in his heart.
其實，不論厚重似「歐韋教堂」，還是輕巧如「向日葵」，都不外是梵谷手上一個符號，胸中一點寄托。他的筆下不僅山水天地，即便一張舊櫈，一雙破鞋，皆婉然若生，顧盼多情，不斷地燃燒著他心中不可抑止的一股生之慾，戀之痴。假若沒有這一顆赤子之心，滿腔熱血之情，就算他的生花妙筆能把教堂畫得如何雄偉軒昂，葵花畫得如何嬌逸靈秀，都僅屬海市蜃樓，空中亭閣，不能如此觸動你的心靈，掀起你的情感。
In fact, whether it is as heavy as "Auvers Church" or as light as "Sunflower", it is nothing more than a symbol in Van Gogh's hand, a little sustenance in his chest. In his writings, not only the mountains and rivers, but also an old stool and a pair of broken shoes are all graceful, looking forward and passionate, constantly burning an unstoppable desire for life and love in his heart. If he didn't have this pure heart and full of passion, no matter how majestic and majestic he painted the church and how delicate and graceful the sunflowers were, they were only mirages and pavilions in the sky, and they couldn't touch you like that. Couldn't set off your emotions.
「歐韋教堂」確屬梵谷登峰造極之作，真跡現存巴黎奧塞美術館，為在下花都必遊之地，倫敦國家畫廊，在下經已登臨膜拜過無數次，舍下的史丹威三角琴前，也恭奉著一幅複制品。「向日葵」真跡現存倫敦國家畫廊，在下經已登臨膜拜過無數次，窩居的餐桌前，亦同樣恭奉著複制品。
「歐韋教堂」確屬梵谷登峰造極之作，真跡現存巴黎奧塞美術館，為在下花都必遊之地，倫敦國家畫廊，在下經已登臨膜拜過無數次，舍下的史丹威三角琴前，也恭奉著一幅複制品。「向日葵」真跡現存倫敦國家畫廊，在下經已登臨膜拜過無數次，窩居的餐桌前，亦同樣恭奉著複制品。"The Church of Auvers" is indeed Van Gogh's masterpiece. The original work is now in the Musée d'Orsay in Paris. It is a must-see in France. I had visited The National Gallery in London and worshiped the paintings of the Grandmaster countless times。In front of the Steinway grand piano in my home, also honoring a replica. The original "Sunflower" is now in the National Gallery in London. I have worshipped countless times, and the replica is also respectfully placed in front of the dining table.
可是，我想藉此向困居於撮爾小島東方之珠之內，學習繪畫藝術的青年才俊進一言：「無論複製品製作得如何精美絕倫，都無法傳達原作的神韻於萬一」，瞻仰真蹟時所接收到的訊息，和感受到的震撼力是無何替代的。要真正透徹的瞭解徫大的藝術，衹能到真蹟前膜拜，別無他途，否則衹會是望梅止渴，畫餅充饑，甚至於捉錯用神，曲解原意。
However, I would like to take this opportunity to say to the young talents who are trapped in the Pearl of the Orient on the small island of Hong Kong and study the art of painting: "No matter how exquisite the reproduction is, it cannot convey the charm of the original." There is no substitute for the message received and the shock felt when it is authentic. To truly and thoroughly understand the art of Painting, one has to worship in front of the real work, and there is no other way. Otherwise, it will only be to quench thirst, draw cakes to satisfy hunger, and even use the wrong sense to distort the original meaning.
However, I would like to take this opportunity to say to the young talents who are trapped in the Pearl of the Orient on the small island of Hong Kong and study the art of painting: "No matter how exquisite the reproduction is, it cannot convey the charm of the original." There is no substitute for the message received and the shock felt when it is authentic. To truly and thoroughly understand the art of Painting, one has to worship in front of the real work, and there is no other way. Otherwise, it will only be to quench thirst, draw cakes to satisfy hunger, and even use the wrong sense to distort the original meaning.
收藏梵谷真蹟的重鎮，主要是荷蘭的梵谷美術館 (Van Gogh Museum, Holland)和勞拉穆勒美術館 (Kroller Muller Museum, Holland) ，其餘佳作分散於世上各地不同的美術館。在下曾長途跋涉，週遊列國，到各地的美術館親炙梵谷的真蹟，他所有現存的顛峰之作，大部份我都瞻仰過。梵谷一再重複下筆的題材，以「自畫像」為數最多，達三十多幅，其餘「卧房」、「吊橋」、「星空」和「絲杉」等題材，亦有少量重複。到各地的美術館，分別觀賞梵谷同一題材的不同版本，饒有奇趣。
The main collections of Van Gogh's works are mainly the Van Gogh Museum, Holland and the Kroller Muller Museum in the Netherlands, and the rest of the masterpieces are scattered in different art museums around the world. I have traveled long distances, traveled all over the world, and went to art galleries around the world to experience the authentic works of Van Gogh. I have admired most of all his existing masterpieces. Van Gogh repeated the themes he painted over and over again, with "Self-Portrait" being the most numerous, reaching more than 30 pieces. Other themes such as "Bedroom", "Suspension Bridge", "Starry Sky" and "Sequoia" also have a small amount of repetition. It is interesting to go to art galleries around the world to watch different versions of the same theme of Van Gogh.
The main collections of Van Gogh's works are mainly the Van Gogh Museum, Holland and the Kroller Muller Museum in the Netherlands, and the rest of the masterpieces are scattered in different art museums around the world. I have traveled long distances, traveled all over the world, and went to art galleries around the world to experience the authentic works of Van Gogh. I have admired most of all his existing masterpieces. Van Gogh repeated the themes he painted over and over again, with "Self-Portrait" being the most numerous, reaching more than 30 pieces. Other themes such as "Bedroom", "Suspension Bridge", "Starry Sky" and "Sequoia" also have a small amount of repetition. It is interesting to go to art galleries around the world to watch different versions of the same theme of Van Gogh.
The above-mentioned "Sunflower" has six different versions with similar shapes but different colours. In addition to the National Gallery in London , I have also been to the Neue Museum in Munich , and the Seiji Togo Memorial Sompo Japan Museum of Art, Tokyo, to see the rare paintings in their collections. The collection in the National Gallery is not only considered to be the best version of the "sunflowers", but also the most outstanding of all the remaining works of Van Gogh.
這幅「向日葵」到在國家畫廊內，大堂右面的一間畫室，面向走廊的一幅牆上。在下每次晉謁國家畫廊，甫入中門，從大堂上向右遙看畫室，都可以透過入口，看到百呎之外掛於牆上的「向日葵」，但見萬丈金光，破空以出，彷似畫面上安裝了無數支千枝燭光的照明燈。牆上原本並排掛著多幅印象派，包括梵谷筆下的其它鉅作，可是統统都不顯眼，衹有此畫鶴立雞群，凸圍而出。我在畫前一站便是半小時，凝神入定，無法言語，全身沐浴在神聖的光芒裏，人畫合一，物我兩忘。看官如不我信，以為在下誇張托大，信口雌黃，不妨到年中無休，免費入塲的國家畫廊親身印証，便可知吾言非虛。Inside the National Gallery, a studio to the right of the lobby, facing a wall in the hallway, there is the original of "Sunflower". Every time I go to the National Gallery of Art, as soon as I enter the main door and look at the studio from the lobby to the right, I can see the "Sunflower" hanging on the wall a hundred feet away. It was as if countless thousands of candles were installed on the painting. There were originally several Impressionist paintings side by side on the wall, including other masterpieces by Van Gogh, but they were all inconspicuous. Only this painting stood out from the crowd. I stopped for half an hour in front of the painting. I was so engrossed that I could not speak. My whole body was bathed in the divine light. If the readers don’t believe me, they think that I am exaggerating, they may go to the National Gallery for free admission to the National Gallery throughout the year, and then they will know that my words are true.
不才在很多國家的美術館內，均目睹時有一群群當地學校的稚齡學子，把名畫團團住，凝神靜聽著美術教師的講解，心生羨慕不已。藝術畢竟與其它學科不同，既不能從考試拔尖，亦無法以分數補底，衹能從生活上培養，在環境中熏陶，朝夕面炙珍品，便屬最佳途徑。香港的學子先天不足，缺乏這樣的氛圍，但假若真箇有志要在藝術上登堂入室，便要勤加出國遊歷，增廣見聞，擺脫狹隘的一隅之思，井蛙之見。
In the art galleries of many countries, I have witnessed groups of young students from local schools, assembling famous painting troupes, listening intently to the explanations of art teachers, and I am envious. After all, art is different from other disciplines. It can neither be top-notch in exams, nor can it be supplemented by scores. It can only be cultivated from life, nurtured in the environment, and cherished treasures day and night. This is the best way. The students in Hong Kong are born with insufficiency and lack such an atmosphere, but if a student is determined to enter the world in art, he has to travel abroad more frequently to broaden his knowledge and get rid of his narrow-minded thinking and frog-like views.
歐韋教堂看罷，假若再循小徑登山，便可至梵谷埋骨之地。可是我更欲先睹故居，後作拜祭，遂從原路折回，轉至小村上的大街「戴高樂將軍大道」。名為大道，實乃小街，但歐韋的火車站及各式商户，均設致於其上。父子二人攜手踽踽而行，但見街上遊人稀少，店鋪不多，走了不遠，便見到梵谷的故居「夏窩旅館」( Auberge Ravoux ) ，他自戕前的三個月，便是寄居於此處二樓的一間後房。
,After watching the Auvers Church, if you follow the trail to climb the mountain, you can reach the place where Van Gogh was buried. However, I wanted to see his last residence first, and pay my respects, so I turned back from the original road and turned to the street "General de Gaulle Avenue" in the small village. The name of the avenue is actually a small street, but the railway station and various merchants of Auvers-sur-Oise are located on it. Father and son walked hand in hand, but seeing that there were few people on the street, not many shops, and not far away, they saw Van Gogh's last residence "Auberge Ravoux" where he lived three months before he committed suicide. It is a room on the second floor.
這旅館早已結業多時，現被列為古蹟，樓下經營餐廳，樓上則保存著當年原貌，訂為「梵谷記念館」，收費入塲參觀。我遶道屋後花園，在一個狹小柜檯的幽暗窗口購票，從花園內望，才發覺原來正有一團包含各種年齡性別的日本觀光客，衣冠楚楚，正襟危在，在餐廳內手執刀义，靜靜地享用西式美饍。This hotel has been closed for a long time, and it is now listed as a historic site. The restaurant downstairs is operating, and the upstairs preserves the original appearance of the year. I took a detour to the back garden of the house and bought tickets at the dark window of a small counter. Looking inside the garden, I realized that there was a group of Japanese tourists of all ages and genders, neatly dressed and in danger, holding knives in the restaurant, enjoy a quiet western meal.
我頓覺饑腸轆轆，嘴角垂涎之餘，忽念日本自明治維新之後，既堅守本土文化，亦全面擁抱西方文明，陸軍師德國，海軍效英國，施法制度取材於歐洲的大陸法。二戰之後，日本更工業大躍進，電子業現執世界牛耳，汽車業正攻陷全球市場，但在生活上全面洋化，脫亞入歐之餘，卻和洋交融，東西合璧。就今日從東京大阪街頭可見，現代的日本人均全體穿上整齊得體的洋裝，可是在成人式上，婚嫁之中，皆重披和服，行傳統禮儀。街道上的商户，固然壽司店與拉麵檔大量充斥，可是亦不乏典雅精緻，裝修地道，提供正宗菜式的法國和意大利餐廳。
I suddenly felt hungry, and the corners of my mouth were drooling. I suddenly remembered that since the Meiji Restoration, Japan has not only adhered to its own culture, but also fully embraced Western Civilization. After World War II, Japan made a great leap forward in industry. Their electronics industry is now the world leader, and the automobile industry is capturing the global market. It can be seen from the streets of Tokyo and Osaka today that all modern Japanese wear neat and decent dresses, but at adult ceremonies and weddings, they all wear kimonos again and perform traditional etiquette. There are many businesses on the street, although Sushi Restaurants and Ramen Stalls are crowded, but there are also French and Italian restaurants that are elegant and refined, with authentic decoration and authentic dishes.
上述都僅屬皮相，最為使我矚目的，便是很多日人由衷的熱愛西洋文化。日人的語言能力不濟，文學不大歐化，但除了爵士及搖滾樂之外，交響樂和歌劇都有龐大的市場，兼且熱烈崇拜西方的演藝巨匠。已故世紀女高音卡拉絲和傳奇鋼琴大師荷勞維茲皆未嘗於歐美以外演出過，但均受天價利誘，先後專程赴日表演。後者由於技藝不但超凡，演出亦極為稀少，正是「此曲衹應天上有，一生難得幾回聞」，一旦偶爾出山，便屬當年世紀盛事。日人為聆天樂梵音，便大舉主辦包演奏會門卷和酒店食宿的豪華旅行團，專程遠赴當地觀賞。
All of the above are only the appearance. What caught my attention the most was the sincere love of many Japanese people for Western Culture. Japanese language skills are not good, and Literature is not quite Europeanized. But in addition to jazz and rock music, symphony and opera, they have a huge market, and they also worship Western performers. Neither the late century soprano Callas nor the legendary pianist Horowitz had ever performed outside Europe and the United States, but they were both lured by sky-high prices and made special trips to Japan to perform. Due to the latter's extraordinary skills and extremely rare performances, it is precisely "These music should only be found in the heaven, and it is rare to hear them in a lifetime." In order to listen to music, the Japanese organized a large number of luxury tour groups that included the entrance to the concert and hotel accommodation, and went to the foreign countries for sightseeing.
這種觀光風氣，也旁及至遠征全球各地的古典音樂節參觀團，和各式各樣的博物館觀光團和文化之旅。眼前正在用膳的這一隊，想必是專程赴法的梵谷美術之旅，在巴黎奧塞美術館飽覽藏畫之後，再轉戰此地，朝拜故居。東瀛不乏瘋狂熱愛梵谷之仕，上世紀八十年代，當日本的經濟如日中天，號令全球之際，日本企業斥資狂掃紐約的房地產之餘，還以高價搶購藝術品。一九九零年，日本大昭和製紙名譽會長，財閥齊藤了英，以八千二百五十萬美元的天價，投得梵谷的晚期傑作「嘉索醫生像」，並聲言以此畫殉葬，霎時聲威遠播，傳誦一時。This tourist ethos also includes expeditions to Classical Music Festivals around the world, as well as various Museum tours and Cultural tours. The group in front of me who are eating must have made a special trip to France for Van Gogh's art tour. After viewing the collection of paintings at the Musée d'Orsay in Paris, they moved to this place to pay homage to the last residence of Van Gogh. In the 1980s, when Japan's economy was booming and the world was calling on Japan, Japanese companies not only swept away real estate in New York, but also snapped up artworks at high prices. In 1990, the chaebol Ryohide Saito, the honorary chairman of Japan's Joshowa Papermaking Co., Ltd., bid for Van Gogh's late masterpiece "Portraits of Dr. Gachet" at a price of 82.5 million US dollars, and claimed he would be buried with this painting. In an instant, its prestige spread far and wide, and it was spread for a while.
我看著窗內正在慢嚥細嚼的東瀛梵谷朝聖團，心中不無感慨。與香港相比，日本無疑是更為多元化的開放社會，左有共黨赤軍，右有軍國遺魂，上有財閥商霸，下有邪教外道，不一而足，彼此共存。在上世紀八十年代，日本盛產努力奮鬥，力爭上遊，如「青春火花」，「綠水英雌」之類的勵志電視片集。進入本世紀，社會上卻充斥著不事生產，閉關自守的「御宅族」，「電車男」之類的隱蔽青年。但是清者自清，濁者自濁，云云眾東瀛遊客之中，縱然有大批蜂擁姬絲汀蒂娥，蟻聚路易威登的名牌掃貨團，但亦不乏眼前這等朝拜羅浮宮奧塞，覲謁歐韋休瓦兹的藝術考察團，相形之下，似乎港人國人的文化素養，遠遠遜於日人。正胡思亂想之間，忽然警覺，倘若日人用膳完畢，整團殺上二樓，我豈有容身之地？於是立即爭取時間，轉身推門入館，攜子直奔二樓。
I looked at the Japan Van Gogh pilgrimage group who were chewing slowly through the window, and I felt a lot of emotion in my heart. Compared with Hong Kong, Japan is undoubtedly a more diversified and open society. There are the Red Army of the Communist Party on the left, the relics of the military state on the right, the business tyrants on the top, and the cult heretics at the bottom. In the 1980s, Japan produced a lot of inspirational TV series, such as "Spark of Youth" and "Heroine in Green Water". Entering this century, society is full of hidden youths such as "Otaku" and "Train Men" who do not work and are self-isolating. But those who are clean are self-cleaning, and those who are dirty are self-cleaning. Among all the tourists from the East, even though there are a large number of famous brand-sweeping groups flocking to Christine Dior and Louis Vuitton, there are still many such pilgrimages to the Louvre Orsay, to visit the art delegation of Auvers-sur-Oise, in contrast, it seems that the cultural literacy of the Hong Kong people and the Chinese people is far inferior to that of the Japanese. While I was thinking about it, I suddenly became alert. If the Japanese people finished their meal and the whole group goes to the second floor, how could I found a place to stay? So I turned around and pushed the door into the museum. Then went straight to the second floor with my son.
看官，此地雖云「梵谷記念館」，但為了保存當年原貌，全屋內外並無一點標飾，半個管理員，僅屋前有一細小指示牌，屋後有一隱閉售票處，其餘與尋常民居一般無異。在下此刻推門而入，衹見眼前一片幽暗，頭頂僅有一盞昏黃的電燈，門後是狹窄的走廊，盡頭上接一道黝黑的樓梯，一縷青光，從二樓幽幽的散射下來，我拾級而上，彷彿正在逐步進入時光隧道，從廿一世紀一步一離魂的，回到二百多年前的十九世紀。
My dear readers, although this place is called "Van Gogh Memorial Hall", in order to preserve the original appearance of the year, there is no sign inside or outside the house, no administrator, only a small sign in front of the house, and a hidden ticket office behind the house. It is no different from ordinary dwellings. I pushed the door and entered, I saw darkness in front of me, only a dim yellow light above my head, a narrow corridor behind the door, and a dark staircase at the end. A ray of blue light scattered faintly from the ceiling. Going up, it seems to be gradually entering the time tunnel, from the 21st century, one step at a time, back to the 19th century more than 200 years ago.
在二樓走廊站定張望，我方才發覺，全館上下渺無人跡，一片死寂，除了父子我倆二人，並無其他遊客，但見走廊上衹有一間房門打開，門上有一方細小的標誌，上書：「梵谷之室」。我信步而入，衹見房內面積狹小，不滿百呎，左右零落著幾件簡樸的傢俱，四壁蕭條，牆上衹有一頁盈呎小窗，室外豔陽正透窗而入。我臨窗外眺，原來是後園景色，遙見一群日人還在餐廳用膳未畢。
Standing in the corridor on the second floor and looking around, I just realized that there is no one in the whole hall, and it is dead silent. Except me and my son, there were no other tourists. There is only one door open in the corridor, and there is a small door. There was a sign, inscription: "The Chamber of Van Gogh". I walked in and saw that the room was small, less than 100 feet in size, with a few simple pieces of furniture scattered on the left and right. The walls were sluggish, and there was only one small window on the wall, and the outside sun was streaming in through it. I looked out the window, it turned out to be the scenery of the back garden, and I saw the group of Japanese people still eating in the restaurant.
歐陸的民居，一般都採用左右對開的長窗，此屋二樓面向大街的兩間客房亦如是，大抵衹有在閣樓，才會採用眼前這種上下翻動的小窗。但是這間面向後園，位於狹窄屋頂後方的小室，因為實在太細，不得已才借用它作為正式的窗。大概此室當年的租金非常廉宜，梵谷亦手頭拮据，僅靠弟第迪奧微簿的滙款接濟。迪奧新婚，還生了孩子，左支右拙，梵谷祇能得過且過，無法苛索。
Continental dwellings generally use long windows facing left and right. The same is true for the two guest rooms on the second floor of this house facing the street. Probably only in the attic will such small windows that flip up and down be used. But this small room, facing the back garden, behind the narrow roof, was so thin that it had to be borrowed as a formal window. Probably the rent for this room was very cheap at the time, and Van Gogh was also in financial difficulties, and only relied on the remittance from his brother Theo. Theo was newly married and gave birth to a child. Van Gogh had no choice but to live by, and couldn't be harsh.
梵谷之所以舉槍自戕，眾說紛紜，愚見以為上述是其中一大誘因。梵谷雖以天才自命，但自覺一生勞碌無成，不但自己受苦，拖累了弟弟迪奥，現在還對不起弟婦姪兒，羞愧無地。再加上身罹精神分裂，多次進出精神病院，但似乎治療無效，一再復發入院，三個月前才獲出院，精神尚未穩定，前路茫茫，萬念俱灰，遂萌死志。
There are many theories about why Van Gogh committed suicide with a gun. In my humble opinion, the above is one of the major incentives. Although Van Gogh claimed to be a genius, he felt that he had toiled for nothing in his life. Not only did he suffer, but also dragged down his brother Theo, and now he is sorry for his brothers and sisters. In addition, he suffers from schizophrenia and has been in and out of the mental hospital many times, but it seems that the treatment is ineffective, and he has been admitted to the hospital repeatedly.
一八九零年七月二十七日，梵谷身懷左輪手槍，走至村外田間，朝胸發射一響之後，掙扎著回到眼前小室，躺在床上痛苦彌留。迪奧聞訊從巴黎趕至，日夜照料，梵谷兩天後在他的懷中斷氣，結朿了悲慘的一生。迪奧料理後事回師巴黎，半年後亦因病去世，遺體移葬梵谷墓旁。
On July 27, 1890, Van Gogh, armed with a revolver, walked to the fields outside the village, shot himself in the chest, struggled back to the small room, and lay on the bed in agony. When Theo heard the news, he arrived from Paris and took care of him day and night. Two days later, Van Gogh died in his arms and ended a tragic life. Theo took care of the funeral and returned to Paris. He also died of illness six months later, and his body was buried next to Van Gogh's tomb.
我懷著一顆沉痛的心，滿腔憐憫之情，端詳著眼前這一張樸拙的木床。床用硬木製成，木面粗糙，並無漆飾，已舊得由褐轉黑，不禁心忖：「梵谷命終此床之上乎？」。接著，在室內昏黃燈影，透窗耀目斜陽，半明半暗，光影交錯之間，我目睹一個男子仰臥床上，正被身旁另一男子緊擁入懷。
Continental dwellings generally use long windows facing left and right. The same is true for the two guest rooms on the second floor of this house facing the street. Probably only in the attic will such small windows that flip up and down be used. But this small room, facing the back garden, behind the narrow roof, was so thin that it had to be borrowed as a formal window. Probably the rent for this room was very cheap at the time, and Van Gogh was also in financial difficulties, and only relied on the remittance from his brother Theo. Theo was newly married and gave birth to a child. Van Gogh had no choice but to live by, and couldn't be harsh.
梵谷之所以舉槍自戕，眾說紛紜，愚見以為上述是其中一大誘因。梵谷雖以天才自命，但自覺一生勞碌無成，不但自己受苦，拖累了弟弟迪奥，現在還對不起弟婦姪兒，羞愧無地。再加上身罹精神分裂，多次進出精神病院，但似乎治療無效，一再復發入院，三個月前才獲出院，精神尚未穩定，前路茫茫，萬念俱灰，遂萌死志。
There are many theories about why Van Gogh committed suicide with a gun. In my humble opinion, the above is one of the major incentives. Although Van Gogh claimed to be a genius, he felt that he had toiled for nothing in his life. Not only did he suffer, but also dragged down his brother Theo, and now he is sorry for his brothers and sisters. In addition, he suffers from schizophrenia and has been in and out of the mental hospital many times, but it seems that the treatment is ineffective, and he has been admitted to the hospital repeatedly.
一八九零年七月二十七日，梵谷身懷左輪手槍，走至村外田間，朝胸發射一響之後，掙扎著回到眼前小室，躺在床上痛苦彌留。迪奧聞訊從巴黎趕至，日夜照料，梵谷兩天後在他的懷中斷氣，結朿了悲慘的一生。迪奧料理後事回師巴黎，半年後亦因病去世，遺體移葬梵谷墓旁。
On July 27, 1890, Van Gogh, armed with a revolver, walked to the fields outside the village, shot himself in the chest, struggled back to the small room, and lay on the bed in agony. When Theo heard the news, he arrived from Paris and took care of him day and night. Two days later, Van Gogh died in his arms and ended a tragic life. Theo took care of the funeral and returned to Paris. He also died of illness six months later, and his body was buried next to Van Gogh's tomb.
我懷著一顆沉痛的心，滿腔憐憫之情，端詳著眼前這一張樸拙的木床。床用硬木製成，木面粗糙，並無漆飾，已舊得由褐轉黑，不禁心忖：「梵谷命終此床之上乎？」。接著，在室內昏黃燈影，透窗耀目斜陽，半明半暗，光影交錯之間，我目睹一個男子仰臥床上，正被身旁另一男子緊擁入懷。
With a heavy heart and full of pity, I looked at the simple wooden bed in front of me. The bed was made of hardwood, with a rough surface and no lacquer. It was so old that it turned from brown to black. I couldn't help thinking, "Will Van Gogh die on this bed?" Then, in the dim yellow light of the room, the dazzling sun shining through the window, half-light and half-dark, between the light and shadow, I saw a man lying on his back on the bed, being hugged by another man beside him.
此人一頭凌亂的紅髮經已被汗水完全濕透，額角上滿佈著斗大的汗珠，不見有右耳，但並非貼膚被割去，而是留下一道微凸的耳輪和一小截耳珠，結著紫紅色的一彎肉痂。衹見他下半身重重蓋著厚被，上半身敞開衣襟，胸前纏著重重紗布，上染一片嫣紅深赤，半乾半濕的一大片血漬。此君氣若遊絲，呼吸緊促，嘴唇震顫地緊貼在摟他入懷那人的耳邊，以微弱的聲線，一字一頓，若斷若續的掙扎著，吐出他在人間最後的一句遺言：「此恨綿綿無絕期」 "La tristesse durera toujours"。我聞言不禁熱淚盈眶，決堤地不斷流下我的雙頰。在一片淚眼模糊之中，衹見他的頭顱漸漸地後仰軟垂，對方慢慢地鬆開他緊抱著的雙手…………。
The man's messy red hair was completely soaked with sweat, and the forehead was covered with large beads of sweat. There was no right ear, but it was not cut off against the skin, but a slightly convex helix and a small cut ear bead, with a purplish red curved flesh scab. I saw that his lower body was heavily covered with a thick quilt, his upper body was open, and a heavy gauze was wrapped around his chest. This gentleman is like a gossamer, breathing tight, his lips trembling close to the ear of the person who is holding him in his arms, and with a weak voice, he struggles intermittently, spitting out his last words in the world : "La tristesse durera toujours" (The sadness will last forever). Tears welled up in my eyes, bursting down my cheeks. Amidst the blurry eyes of tears, I saw his head gradually sag back and softly, and the other party slowly released his tightly clasped hands. . . .
The man's messy red hair was completely soaked with sweat, and the forehead was covered with large beads of sweat. There was no right ear, but it was not cut off against the skin, but a slightly convex helix and a small cut ear bead, with a purplish red curved flesh scab. I saw that his lower body was heavily covered with a thick quilt, his upper body was open, and a heavy gauze was wrapped around his chest. This gentleman is like a gossamer, breathing tight, his lips trembling close to the ear of the person who is holding him in his arms, and with a weak voice, he struggles intermittently, spitting out his last words in the world : "La tristesse durera toujours" (The sadness will last forever). Tears welled up in my eyes, bursting down my cheeks. Amidst the blurry eyes of tears, I saw his head gradually sag back and softly, and the other party slowly released his tightly clasped hands. . . .
「爸爸，爸爸，你聽聽，有人唱歌！」小兒扯著我的手大叫。
"Dad, Daddy, listen to me, someone sings!" the kid yelled, pulling my hand.
隔壁隱約傳來一陣一陣前述唐麥連所唱的「文生」一曲。我與小兒踏出小室，推開隔壁的房門，衹見內裏空空如也，漆黑一片，既無陳設，復無人跡，牆上掛著一方銀幕，幕前放著一臺放映機，正按時自動播放著一套由梵谷名畫的幻燈片剪輯而成，以唐麥連名曲「文生」為配樂的彩色短片，不過幾分鐘便播完，室內復歸一片漆黑，需待十五分鐘之後，放映機才會再自動啟播。我與小兒離房下樓，在大街上的陽光中定一定神，循道回到歐韋教堂之前，沿著坡路上山。
The song "Vincent" sung by Don McLean was vaguely heard next door. My son and I stepped out of the small room and pushed open the door next door, only to see that the inside was empty, pitch-dark, with no furnishings and no traces of anything. There was a screen hanging on the wall, and in front of the screen was a projector, which was playing automatically on time. A set of colour clips edited from a slideshow of Van Gogh's famous paintings, with Don McLean's famous song "Vincent" as the soundtrack, it was shown repeatedly in a few minutes, and the room returned to darkness. Start playing automatically. My son and I left the room and went downstairs, calmed down in the sun on the street, and followed the path up the hill before returning to Oise Church.
左彎右枴的行了十五分鐘，便迂迴的到達了山丘之上，右邊是一個墓園，左邊是一片麥田。我站在麥田前遊目四顧，心忖究竟那裏是梵谷絕筆「麥田上的烏鴉」的原址？該畫現存荷蘭阿姆斯特丹的梵谷美術館，小兒的睡房內亦恭奉複製品。畫中梵谷一改他慣常燦爛奔放的風格，一下子變成沉鬱內歛，在黑壓壓的一片麥田之上，烏雲蓋頂，群鴉亂舞，充滿著一股不祥之兆，彷彿預告著他悲慘的結局。
It took fifteen minutes to turn left and right, and then we reached the top of the hill in a roundabout way, with a cemetery on the right and a wheat field on the left. I stood in front of the wheat field and looked around, wondering where is the original site of Van Gogh's masterpiece "The Raven on the Wheat Field"? The painting is now in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, and a replica is also available in my son's bedroom. In the painting, Van Gogh changed his usual splendid and unrestrained style, and suddenly became melancholy and restrained. Above a black wheat field, dark clouds covered the top, and crows danced wildly, full of auspicious omens, as if foretelling his tragic death. ending.
這墓園約有兩個足球場大小，我越門而入，在墓地上來回穿梭了幾匝，巡視每塊墓碑，但不見梵谷的蹤影，亦無任何指示標誌。正茫無頭緒，不知如何是好之際，忽見一婦人蹲在地上整理花草，也不知是掃墓者還是管理員。我信步而前，還未站定開口，這婦人頭也不抬，也不看我一眼，便舉起左手指著墓園的前方右角。我滿口法文，一再躹躬道謝不已，才緩步趨前視察，果然圍牆下葬著兩位梵谷，迪奧 (Theo Van Gogh)在左，文生 (Vincent Van Gogh)在右。
The song "Vincent" sung by Don McLean was vaguely heard next door. My son and I stepped out of the small room and pushed open the door next door, only to see that the inside was empty, pitch-dark, with no furnishings and no traces of anything. There was a screen hanging on the wall, and in front of the screen was a projector, which was playing automatically on time. A set of colour clips edited from a slideshow of Van Gogh's famous paintings, with Don McLean's famous song "Vincent" as the soundtrack, it was shown repeatedly in a few minutes, and the room returned to darkness. Start playing automatically. My son and I left the room and went downstairs, calmed down in the sun on the street, and followed the path up the hill before returning to Oise Church.
左彎右枴的行了十五分鐘，便迂迴的到達了山丘之上，右邊是一個墓園，左邊是一片麥田。我站在麥田前遊目四顧，心忖究竟那裏是梵谷絕筆「麥田上的烏鴉」的原址？該畫現存荷蘭阿姆斯特丹的梵谷美術館，小兒的睡房內亦恭奉複製品。畫中梵谷一改他慣常燦爛奔放的風格，一下子變成沉鬱內歛，在黑壓壓的一片麥田之上，烏雲蓋頂，群鴉亂舞，充滿著一股不祥之兆，彷彿預告著他悲慘的結局。It took fifteen minutes to turn left and right, and then we reached the top of the hill in a roundabout way, with a cemetery on the right and a wheat field on the left. I stood in front of the wheat field and looked around, wondering where is the original site of Van Gogh's masterpiece "The Raven on the Wheat Field"? The painting is now in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, and a replica is also available in my son's bedroom. In the painting, Van Gogh changed his usual splendid and unrestrained style, and suddenly became melancholy and restrained. Above a black wheat field, dark clouds covered the top, and crows danced wildly, full of auspicious omens, as if foretelling his tragic death. ending.
這墓園約有兩個足球場大小，我越門而入，在墓地上來回穿梭了幾匝，巡視每塊墓碑，但不見梵谷的蹤影，亦無任何指示標誌。正茫無頭緒，不知如何是好之際，忽見一婦人蹲在地上整理花草，也不知是掃墓者還是管理員。我信步而前，還未站定開口，這婦人頭也不抬，也不看我一眼，便舉起左手指著墓園的前方右角。我滿口法文，一再躹躬道謝不已，才緩步趨前視察，果然圍牆下葬著兩位梵谷，迪奧 (Theo Van Gogh)在左，文生 (Vincent Van Gogh)在右。The cemetery is about the size of two football fields. I walked in and shuttled back and forth across the cemetery, inspecting each tombstone, but there was no sign of Van Gogh, nor any signposts. When I was at a loss, I didn't know what to do, then I suddenly saw a woman squatting on the ground sorting flowers and plants, I don't know whether it was a tomb sweeper or a caretaker. I walked forward, and before I started to speak, the woman raised her left hand and pointed to the front right corner of the cemetery without raising her head or looking at me. I spoke French, and I bowed and thanked me again and again. Then I slowly walked forward to see. Sure enough, there were two Van Gogh buried under the wall, Theo on the left, Vincent on the right.
在下畢生從事拜謁我心儀的偉大藝術家埋骨之地，在墳前掃墓默哀。由於三十多年閉關自習鋼琴，以往探訪過的多是音樂家，文學家衹有莎士比亞一人，畫家則有意大利文藝復興三傑拉飛爾 (Raphael)、達芬奇 (Leonardo da Vinci)、米開蘭基羅 (Michelangelo )，和眼前的梵谷。其中使我印象最為深刻難忘的，便是前述的音樂家布拉姆斯。
I spent the rest of my life paying homage to the burial place of my favorite great artist, and paying silent tribute to the grave. Due to more than 30 years of self-taught piano practice, most of the people I visited in the past were musicians, only Shakespeare was the writer, and the painters included the Italian Renaissance three geniuses : Raphael, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelle Michelangelo and Van Gogh after them. The one that impressed me the most was the aforementioned musician Brahms.
布拉姆斯(Johannes Brahms) 埋骨於維也納中央公墓( Zentralfriedhof Wien ) 內的「音樂家角落」(Musician's Corner)，墓前是莫扎特 (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart)的衣冠塚，左右各有貝多芬 (Ludwig Van Beethoven)和舒伯特 (Franz Schbert)的墓，胡爾夫 (Hugo Wolf) 的墳則在後面，大師們死後都濟濟一堂了。除了莫扎特因為死後屍骨散佚不存，以致此衣冠塚平平無奇，無甚足觀之外，大師們的墓碑均各具特色。貝多芬的墓莊嚴簡潔，方尖的墓碑上綴一具金色的豎琴。舒伯
特的墓碑鏤上浮雕，繆絲女神正左手持豎琴，右手以桂冠替舒伯特加冕。胡爾夫僅屬二線大師，但墓碑卻最為驚心動魄，耐人尋味，碑上但見胡爾夫神情肅穆，目不斜視，左下角一對赤裸男女正忘情擁吻，右下角一位女性面容扭曲，仰天嘷叫，狀似痛苦難熬。布拉姆斯則以靜制動，以右手撫頭，俯首沉思，不知是正在構思他於人間未及完成的鴻篇鉅作，還是在懷愐他對師母克拉克的一段單思暗戀。
I spent the rest of my life paying homage to the burial place of my favorite great artist, and paying silent tribute to the grave. Due to more than 30 years of self-taught piano practice, most of the people I visited in the past were musicians, only Shakespeare was the writer, and the painters included the Italian Renaissance three geniuses : Raphael, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelle Michelangelo and Van Gogh after them. The one that impressed me the most was the aforementioned musician Brahms.
布拉姆斯(Johannes Brahms) 埋骨於維也納中央公墓( Zentralfriedhof Wien ) 內的「音樂家角落」(Musician's Corner)，墓前是莫扎特 (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart)的衣冠塚，左右各有貝多芬 (Ludwig Van Beethoven)和舒伯特 (Franz Schbert)的墓，胡爾夫 (Hugo Wolf) 的墳則在後面，大師們死後都濟濟一堂了。除了莫扎特因為死後屍骨散佚不存，以致此衣冠塚平平無奇，無甚足觀之外，大師們的墓碑均各具特色。貝多芬的墓莊嚴簡潔，方尖的墓碑上綴一具金色的豎琴。舒伯
特的墓碑鏤上浮雕，繆絲女神正左手持豎琴，右手以桂冠替舒伯特加冕。胡爾夫僅屬二線大師，但墓碑卻最為驚心動魄，耐人尋味，碑上但見胡爾夫神情肅穆，目不斜視，左下角一對赤裸男女正忘情擁吻，右下角一位女性面容扭曲，仰天嘷叫，狀似痛苦難熬。布拉姆斯則以靜制動，以右手撫頭，俯首沉思，不知是正在構思他於人間未及完成的鴻篇鉅作，還是在懷愐他對師母克拉克的一段單思暗戀。Johannes Brahms is buried in the "Musician's Corner" in the Zentralfriedhof Wien (Vienna Central Cemetery). In front of his tomb is the tomb of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, with Ludwig Van Beethoven on the left is Franz Schbert, on the is Hugo Wolf. The masters were all gathered after their deaths. Except that Mozart's body was scattered and disappeared after his death, so the tomb is just clothes. The tombstones of the masters all had their own characteristics. Beethoven's tomb is solemn and concise, with a golden harp on the obelisk. Schubert's tombstone is carved in relief, and the goddess Muse is holding a harp in her left hand and crowning Schubert with a laurel wreath in her right hand. Hugo Wolf is only a second-tier master, but the tombstone is the most thrilling and intriguing. On the tombstone, I see Wolf's solemn expression and his eyes are not squinting. A pair of naked men and women in the lower left corner are kissing each other, and a woman in the lower right corner has a distorted face and screams up to the sky. It looks like pain. Brahms stood still, stroked his head with his right hand, and bowed his head in contemplation. I wondered if he was contemplating his unfinished masterpiece in the world, or he was cherishing a single-minded crush on Robert Schumann' wife Clark.
我在布拉姆斯墓前一站便是個多小時，任八方風雲變幻，四野花飛葉落，我自巍然佇立，巋然不退，與大師結伴沉思，神遊物外，衹覺鬚眉賁張的大師與嬌柔靈秀的師母，交替出現眼前，秋意蕭瑟的第四交響樂與燈影闌珊的鋼琴間奏曲，相繼響於耳畔，心中則充滿著對聖者的崇高景仰，故人的無限追思。大師的遺骨僅埋於咫尺之下，是我所能接近他的最短距離，這一刻彷彿我們的心靈也最為接近，他樂曲中每個音符所隱藏的含意，正花芯微展，蓮開千瓣，一層一層的逐漸向我展現，賜予我一種全新的啟示。我知道一回大師面謁，賤體便得脫胎換骨，珍惜墓前一分一秒，盡量延長此刻…………… 。I stood in front of Brahms' tomb for more than an hour, letting my feeling change in all directions. The wild flowers flying and falling, but I stood tall, never retreating, and contemplating with the master. With the delicate and graceful music, the fourth Symphony and the Piano Interludes in the dim light echoed in my ears one after another, and my heart was filled with the lofty admiration for the saint and the infinite remembrance of the deceased. The master's remains are buried only a few feet down, the shortest distance I can get to him. At this moment, it seems that our hearts are also the closest. The hidden meaning of each note in his music is just as the flower core slightly unfolded, and the lotus blossoms. The petals, gradually revealed to me layer by layer, gave me a new revelation. I know that once the master is seen, the scumbag will have to be reborn, cherish every minute and second in front of the tomb, and try to prolong this moment as much as possible. . . . .
"爸爸，這是甚麽？"
"Dad, what is this?"
"爸爸，這是甚麽？"
"Dad, what is this?"
"這些是墳墓"
"These are graves."
"甚麽是墳墓？"
"These are graves."
"甚麽是墳墓？"
"墳墓是埋葬死人的。人都會死，爸爸死了之後也會埋在墳裏。"
"Graves are for the dead. People will die, and Dad will be buried in the grave when he dies."
"那麽這裏埋著誰？"
"Then who is buried here?"
"Then who is buried here?"
"一位把畫畫得很美很漂亮的叔叔。"
"An uncle who paints pretty and beautiful."
"An uncle who paints pretty and beautiful."
"這位叔叔畫畫也如我般，得到班上的金星獎嗎？"
"This uncle draws like me, does he get the gold star in the class?"
"This uncle draws like me, does he get the gold star in the class?"
"當然囉，他得了無數無數的金星獎，比你還行！"
"Of course, he has won countless gold star awards, better than you!"
"Of course, he has won countless gold star awards, better than you!"
梵谷身後的千載盛名，畫價的黃金萬両，究竟與腳下這一堆枯骨何干？死後百般奉盛，何如生前一刻慰藉？梵谷生前一無所得，死後長恨綿綿，難道不是代表著所有古今中外懷才不遇，志不獲伸的人，一個共渡的宿命？此際，山下歐韋教堂內的鐘聲忽然悠悠響起，在山坡上泛起一陣陣迴音，似報梵筆下知遇之恩。我不禁想起海明威 Ernest Hemingway 在他的鉅著「戰地鐘聲」(For whom the bell tolls) 扉頁所引，英國十七世紀詹姆斯一世時期形而上詩人約翰唐尼 John Donne 的名句：
The thousand-year fame behind Van Gogh, and the tens of thousands of gold painting prices, what does it have to do with the pile of bones under his feet? After death, it is prosperous in every possible way, how can it be comforted in the moment before death? Van Gogh gained nothing during his lifetime, and he gets praises after his death. Doesn't it mean that all those people, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, who have not met their talents and their aspirations, are destined to live together? At this moment, the bell in the Oise Church at the foot of the mountain suddenly tolls, and echoes on the hillside, as if to repay the kindness of the painter. I can't help but think of Ernest Hemingway's famous quote from the seventeenth-century English James I metaphysical poet John Donne on the title page of his magnum opus "For whom the bell tolls":
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know
人非荒島，唯我獨存，人是大洲一隅，人海一角。浪既日淘一沙，沙盡遂岸崩，每一個人的逝亡都磨損了我，因為我便是全人類。請切莫再問喪鐘為誰鳴？它為你而嗚！”
"For Whom the Bell Tolls"?
People are not deserted islands, only I survive, people are a corner of the continent, a corner of the sea of people. The waves scour the sand every day, and the sand collapses, and the death of everyone wears me down, because I am all human beings. Please don't ask the bell for whom tolls? It tolls for you!
隨著鐘聲慢慢消逝，山坡回復一片沉寂，忽又聞一陣人馬踏雜之聲，原來時已過午，日人用膳已畢，正兩個一排，前呼後擁的，隨著導遊手中揮舞著的一面小旗幟，列隊登山，直闖墓園。我一見大驚失色，連忙小兒循墓園另一面的小徑匆匆下山，跳上小車，發動引擎，向山上揚手高呼：「梵谷你且安睡，我快會與小兒回來看你」，言畢絕塵而去。
As the bells slowly faded away, the hillside returned to silence, and suddenly there was a sound of people stepping on the street. It turned out that it was past noon, and the Japanese had finished their meals. A Tourist guide holds a small flag waving in his hand, lined the tour up to climb the mountain, and went straight to the cemetery. When I saw it, I was shocked. I hurried down the mountain along the path on the other side of the cemetery, jumped into the car, started the engine, raised my hands to the mountain, and shouted, "Van Gogh, sleep in peace, I will come back with the child to see you soon." Then I drives away.
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